You’re Not Really From Maine Unless You’ve Complained About These 12 Things

Ah, Maine—the land of lobsters, lighthouses, and locals who treat tourists and winter like equally unwelcome houseguests. If you haven’t mumbled a passive-aggressive complaint while staring stoically out at the Atlantic, are you even from Vacationland? Let’s crack open a can of Moxie, bundle up (yes, in June), and celebrate the fine art of Maine-style grumbling.

Tourists Driving 20 mph to “Admire the Foliage”

Yes, the trees are pretty. Now pull over before someone from Aroostook teaches you a lesson.

Having to Explain That Maine Isn’t Part of Canada

No, we don’t use loonies, and yes, we have the internet.

Black Flies That Exist Solely to Ruin Your Life

They wait all year to emerge, bite your ankles, and steal your will to live.

People Thinking We Eat Lobster Every Day

Only on holidays, when it’s on sale, or when Uncle Ricky “finds some” off the back of a boat.

Out-of-Staters Mispronouncing “Bangor” and “Calais”

It’s Bang-gore and Cal-iss. Don’t French it up unless you want to be silently judged.

Potholes That Could Swallow a Moose

And in some towns, probably already have.

The Entire State Shutting Down for a Nor’easter… and Then Laughing About It

Snow day? Nah. Just another Tuesday. Where’s the shovel?

Out-of-Towners Saying “Maine Isn’t That Cold”

Say that again after your eyelashes freeze on the walk to your mailbox.

The Cost of Heating Oil Making You Consider a Career in Lumberjacking

The true Maine financial planning: Wood pile > 401(k).

Summer Lasting Approximately 12 Days

You blink, it’s over, and now you have to dig your parka back out of the attic.

The “Vacationland” License Plate Being Ironic

Yes, it’s beautiful here. Now kindly stop clogging Route 1 with your camper van.

People Not Understanding What “Upta Camp” Means

It’s not to camp. It’s upta camp. It’s a place, a state of mind, and probably where you left your good flannel.

Maine might be chilly, remote, and crawling with tourists for half the year, but we wouldn’t trade it for anything—except maybe an extra month of summer. Complaining in Maine is just another way we show love, right after feeding you baked beans and telling you with a straight face that Moxie “ain’t that bad.”