10 Things People from Massachusetts Do Every Time They Come Back to Massachusetts

No matter how far you roam, there’s something about returning to Massachusetts that just feels wicked good. Whether it’s the crisp coastal air, the smell of clam chowder, or the passionate sports debates, coming home to the Bay State brings out the true New Englander in you. Here are ten things every Masshole (said with love, of course) does when they’re back.

Complain About the Traffic (While Aggressively Navigating It)

You instantly slip back into the rhythm of driving in Massachusetts—yelling at fellow drivers while cutting through the rotary like you never left. The traffic may be terrible, but nobody drives with more righteous fury than a true Bay Stater.

Order Dunkin’ Like It’s a Lifeline

The first thing you do is make a beeline for Dunkin’—and it’s not just about the coffee, it’s about your identity. Even if you’ve been sipping fancy lattes while away, nothing beats that large iced regular (extra sugar) from Dunks.

Reignite Your Sports Fandom (With Loud Opinions)

Whether it’s the Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics, or Bruins, you waste no time jumping into a heated sports debate. You’re back in the land of champions, and even if you’re grumbling about last season, you’re ready to remind everyone that your teams are the best.

Crave Clam Chowder (And Judge Everyone’s Recipe)

The second you step foot back in Massachusetts, your taste buds start craving a creamy, rich bowl of clam chowder. And don’t you dare bring up that Manhattan stuff—chowder’s only done right in New England, and you’re prepared to judge any version that doesn’t measure up.

Slip “Wicked” Into Every Conversation

Whether you’ve spent years toning down your accent or you never stopped, the word “wicked” sneaks back into your vocabulary with ease. Suddenly, everything is wicked awesome, wicked hard, or just wicked good.

Reminisce About the Revolution

You find yourself casually dropping historical facts about the American Revolution into conversations like you were there. “Yeah, this is where the first shots were fired at Lexington and Concord,” you say, just to remind everyone how important Massachusetts is to American history.

Talk About the Weather Like a True New Englander

You can’t help but comment on how the weather changes every five minutes. It could be sunny, rainy, and snowy in the same day, but you’re unfazed—you just shake your head and say, “That’s New England for ya.”

Prepare for a “Cumbie’s” Stop

Cumberland Farms may just be a gas station to outsiders, but to you, it’s an essential pit stop for snacks, coffee, or a last-minute iced tea. A road trip isn’t complete without swinging by Cumbie’s, because it’s as Massachusetts as it gets.

Appreciate the Beauty of Cape Cod (And Complain About the Crowds)

You dream of heading to Cape Cod, enjoying the beaches and seafood shacks. But at the same time, you’re already groaning about how packed it’s going to be—because, let’s face it, the Cape is everyone’s summer escape.

Critique Everyone’s Boston Accent (Even If Yours Is Fading)

The minute you hear someone pronounce “car” like “cah,” your ears perk up. Whether you’ve kept your Boston accent sharp or it’s softened over time, you’re quick to judge whether others are nailing the true Masshole drawl.

Coming back to Massachusetts is like stepping into a world where sarcasm, sports, and Dunkin’ flow in equal measure. From battling traffic like a pro to slipping “wicked” into your speech, you know you’re home when the simple things feel right again. So grab a coffee, prepare for a rant about Tom Brady, and enjoy being back in the heart of New England.