12 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Consider Moving to New Mexico

Hey there, future mover! Before you start dreaming of stunning desert landscapes, vibrant culture, and unique southwestern charm, let me stop you right there. Here are 12 completely valid (and not at all exaggerated) reasons why you should think twice about making New Mexico your new home.

Too Much Sun

If you’re not a fan of sunshine, New Mexico’s 300+ days of it will leave you longing for cloudy skies and rainy days. The endless blue sky? Boring.

Alien Encounters

If you’re not into UFOs, the constant talk about Roswell and alien sightings will have you rolling your eyes and avoiding every green-colored food for fear it might be “extraterrestrial.”

Red or Green?

If you hate tough decisions, you’ll find New Mexico’s official state question, “Red or green?” (referring to chile), more stressful than choosing a life partner. And don’t even get started on “Christmas” style!

Desert Doldrums

If you prefer lush greenery, New Mexico’s arid landscapes will have you missing the sight of a lawn that isn’t made of rocks and cacti.

Spicy Food Overload

If you can’t handle the heat, New Mexico’s love affair with chile peppers—on everything from breakfast to dessert—will leave you in a constant state of mild panic (and heartburn).

Art Everywhere

If you’re not into art, New Mexico’s thriving arts scene, from Santa Fe’s galleries to Taos’s artist colonies, will have you questioning why everyone seems so obsessed with pottery and paintings.

High Desert Living

If you’re not used to altitude, New Mexico’s high desert climate will leave you breathless, literally, as you adjust to the thin air and dry conditions.

Dust Devils and Tumbleweeds

If you’re not into wild weather, New Mexico’s frequent dust devils and roaming tumbleweeds will have you dodging mini tornadoes and giant, rolling balls of prickly vegetation.

Adobe Overload

If you’re not a fan of earthy tones, New Mexico’s iconic adobe architecture, with its endless shades of brown and tan, might make you long for a good, old-fashioned skyscraper or two.

Endless Sky

If you’re afraid of open spaces, New Mexico’s vast, empty landscapes and endless horizon might leave you feeling exposed and yearning for a nice, crowded city.

Nuclear History

If you’re not into history, New Mexico’s role in the Manhattan Project and as the site of the first atomic bomb test might give you the jitters—or at least make you think twice about camping near White Sands.

Quirky Culture

If you like things straightforward, New Mexico’s blend of Native American, Hispanic, and Anglo cultures, along with its quirky festivals and traditions, might leave you feeling culturally confused (but in a fun way!).

So, there you have it. Twelve ironclad reasons to keep New Mexico off your relocation list. Sure, it might sound like a place with breathtaking landscapes, rich history, and a laid-back lifestyle, but don’t be fooled by the allure. Stick to your more humid, less alien-infested, and less spicy environments, and leave New Mexico to those who don’t mind a little desert heat, a lot of chile, and the occasional UFO sighting.