12 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Consider Moving to Oklahoma

Hey there, future mover! Before you start dreaming of wide-open prairies, cowboy culture, and friendly small towns, let me stop you right there. Here are 12 completely valid (and not at all exaggerated) reasons why you should think twice about making Oklahoma your new home.

Tornado Central

If you’re not a thrill-seeker, Oklahoma’s prime spot in Tornado Alley, with its frequent and intense twisters, will have you spending more time in your storm shelter than your living room.

Summer Scorcher

If you’re not a fan of extreme heat, Oklahoma’s blazing hot summers, where triple-digit temperatures are the norm, will have you melting faster than an ice cream cone on a July afternoon.

Endless Prairie

If you’re craving a variety of landscapes, Oklahoma’s vast, flat prairies will leave you longing for a mountain or a forest—or really, just anything other than more prairie.

Wind, Wind, and More Wind

If you’re not into constant breezes, Oklahoma’s famously strong winds, which blow nearly year-round, will make every day feel like you’re battling a wind tunnel.

Cowboy Culture Overload

If you’re not into boots and buckles, Oklahoma’s deep-rooted cowboy culture, complete with rodeos, country music, and line dancing, might have you searching for a place where “Yeehaw” isn’t the state motto.

Seismic Surprise

If you’re not ready for the ground to move, Oklahoma’s recent uptick in earthquakes—yes, earthquakes—due to increased fracking might have you questioning if you accidentally moved to California.

No Coast, No Problem?

If you love the beach, Oklahoma’s landlocked location will have you pining for the sound of waves, as the closest thing you’ll get is a lake with imported sand.

Thunderstorms of Biblical Proportions

If you’re not a fan of wild weather, Oklahoma’s epic thunderstorms, complete with lightning, hail, and torrential rain, will make you wonder if you should start building an ark.

Football Fanaticism

If you’re not into sports, Oklahoma’s obsession with football—especially when it comes to the Sooners and Cowboys—will have you feeling like you accidentally moved to a state where touchdowns are a religion.

Dust Bowl Flashbacks

If you’re a history buff, Oklahoma’s legacy of the Dust Bowl might make you a little wary every time the wind kicks up and the skies turn a shade too brown.

Country Music Central

If you’re not a fan of twang, Oklahoma’s country music roots will surround you with honky-tonk tunes and cowboy ballads, whether you’re in a bar, on the radio, or just out and about.

The Panhandle Problem

If you’re into geographical logic, Oklahoma’s panhandle—aka “No Man’s Land”—might leave you scratching your head and wondering why that little strip of land even exists.

So, there you have it. Twelve ironclad reasons to keep Oklahoma off your relocation list. Sure, it might sound like a place with warm-hearted people, rich culture, and plenty of open space, but don’t be fooled by the allure. Stick to your more temperate, less windy, and less football-crazed environments, and leave Oklahoma to those who don’t mind a little heat, a lot of twisters, and the occasional country music marathon.