Here are 10 Ways to Insult an Arizonan

1. Ask them: “That’s near California, right?”

Arizona is the 6th largest state in the US. While we are next to California, we are our own giant state. When The Big One hits and we have coastal property, you’ll know exactly where we are located.

2. Imply Arizona is boring or ugly

Oh yes, soooo boring. Soooo ugly.

3. Insult our Mexican food

We have the finest Picante north of the border; we put Jalapenos on or in everything, including our cactus jelly; and our salsa spice standards knock the Scoville scale out of balance.

4. Joke about our summer months

Say things like “it’s so hot that…” and insert exaggerated scenarios like “you can fry an egg on the sidewalk.” We’ve heard it all. 

5. Waste water

This is a no brainer.

6. Say anything about sports teams – any of them

We will be the first to remind you of our 2001 World Series Win by our Diamondbacks; we will jump on the chance to tell you about our Cardinals in the 2008 Superbowl; and, of course, the Phoenix Suns have a uniquely stat-savvy group of fans.

7. Call us the “Retirement State”

Yes, we have amazingly warm weather and low taxes that attract heat-seeking retirees to Phoenix, Tucson, and their suburbs, who didn’t want Florida’s humidity and Disney-obsessed tourists. But attend a party at ASU and U of A and you’ll never think of Arizona as the “Retirement State” again. And even if you do, remember the Snowbirds bring in culture, volunteerism, and big bucks. Note: Northern Arizonans don’t have the Snowbird flock in the same numbers as the South.

8. Throwing cigarette butts out the window

Just don’t.

9. Tell us you’ve been to Arizona, then showing us your Instagram Grand Canyon pictures

We are very proud of the Grand Canyon. However, we are much more than that. From our amazing scenic lakes, to our lush green forests, we have it all.

10. Pronounce our city names wrong

Repeat after me: PRESS-scott. Not PRESS-skit.

Thanks to Dawn Musil @ Matador Network for some of these!