10 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Consider Moving to Louisiana

Hey there, future Louisianian—or should I say, not-so-lucky soon-to-be resident! If you’re entertaining the wild idea of moving to the Bayou State, then you’re in the right place!

We need to prepare you for a wild ride because we’re not sure if you are willing to be surprised in the most delightful ways possible!

Here are 10 terrible reasons why you should absolutely never ever move to Louisiana:

1. The cuisine is too mouthwatering for words

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Po’boys, gumbo, jambalaya—who needs all that deliciousness? With its mouthwatering Cajun and Creole cuisine, Louisiana will have you packing on the pounds faster than you can say “laissez les bons temps rouler.”

2. The weather might just surprise you

Who needs sunshine anyway? With Louisiana’s unpredictable rain showers and steamy humidity, it sure is like a box of chocolates—you never know what you’re gonna get.

2. The landscapes are too picture-perfect

Who needs landscapes like what they have in Louisiana? You will see endless swamps, marshes, and bayous—yawn! If you’re into monotonous scenery that looks like it’s straight out of a postcard, then Louisiana is definitely not the place for you.

4. The festivals will excite you

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But why do you need excitement? Who needs lively festivals and parades anyway? In Louisiana, you’ll be bored to tears with all the music, dancing, and colorful celebrations happening year-round.

5. The Southern hospitality is unmatched

Enough with the friendly smiles and warm welcomes! In Louisiana, you’ll be bombarded with so much Southern hospitality that you’ll start wondering if people are secretly plotting to steal your heart.

6. The historical riches will overwhelm you

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Who cares about history, right? Louisiana’s rich tapestry of French, Spanish, and Creole influences is so passé. You’d be better off living in a place with no culture or heritage to speak of. That’s the better option.

7. There are swamp adventures

If you want to channel your inner Steve Irwin, and want to get up close and personal with alligators and snapping turtles, this place is it! You’ll have plenty of opportunities to embark on swamp tours and encounter some of nature’s most fearsome creatures.

8. The music and culture are annoying

Jazz, blues, zydeco—who needs all that soul-stirring music? Louisiana bombards you with toe-tapping tunes and infectious rhythms that’ll have you dancing in the streets against your will.

9. French Quarter Follies

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Who wants to stroll down cobblestone streets lined with historic buildings and charming cafes? Once you visit Louisiana’s French Quarter, you’ll be subjected to so much beauty and romance that you’ll risk falling head over heels for the city.

10. The spectacular bayous look too good

Who needs serene, moss-draped bayous that seem to stretch on forever? Take in the picturesque waterways, teeming with wildlife and dripping with old-world charm right here in Louisiana!

Between you and me, I think it’s time to rethink your decision to move to Louisiana. Where else can you find such a unique blend of culture, cuisine, and charm? Louisiana might just surprise you in the best possible way. This should be at the bottom of your list (or not).